Last night I sent a four flusher into the New York City septic system. That's right, four flushes...and a little bit of plunging.
Now. I suppose I could say that this particular creature was of a consistency and shape that's not easily flushed, that I got a bad lie, or the wind was off, or the water was too cold, etc. But really, if I'm being honest--and around here I'm honest to a fault or the blog sucks!--it wasn't a case of, oops...the log went sideways. You know when that happens? There's an unlucky twisting of the shit, and it sort of goes sideways, breaks in half and gets stuck in the pipes? Yeah, it wasn't that. It was a matter of pure, unadulterated poundage. I felt bad for not calling the department of public works to let them know it was on the way. It was that large.
I was shocked. I felt so butchy and gross, so masculated (is that a word?) Perhaps it was a cumulative affect, the comfortable shoe/black shirt outfit I've been favoring since I got off the plane, and of course all the pussy I've been eating. I just felt...over-butched.
Well I jumped into the shower immediately and scrubbed the butch off me like I'd been raped by Rosie O'Donnell or something.
scrub
scrub
scrub
i did and
clean
i could not get
need
deep
dicking
I spent an hour in there, till the water went luke. I shaved everything (not my head) I scrubbed and buffed and pumiced and smoothed, till I was no longer the rogueish, rough-hewn Bunny of January 2007, but a new and better Bunny, one who smells of lavender and weighs five pounds less. I got out of the shower and toweled off. Lubed everything up and put on a silk nightie. I felt so much better.
But I'll shit again. I know I will.
Posted by The Bunny at 5:32 AM