TheBunnyBlog.com - December 23, 2007

I'm broke.

Christmas can be tough when you're broke. You can't fly home. You have no money for gifts--depending on the level of brokeness you've achieved, trinkets for "strapped", baubles for "spent", nothing for "college broke." And that's what I am, "college broke."

This year, the only thing I had left to give was a poor white trash Christmas card. I would've loved to get physical gifts, as I'm thirty, and shouldn't be living like I'm college. You know, some sweater sets for the ladies, a tie for dad. I don't know. Something physical and useful.

To compensate, I worked pretty hard on my white trash Christmas card, and when it was finished, the total worth of the card @ illustration rate was approximately one-hundred sweater sets and fifty two ties. Fuckin' A, that's a lot of work, I thought. So I've decided to share it with everyone.

* * *

Here we have Maxie. The true manipulative Maxie, not the sweet Maxie she pretends to be. She is saying: In the spirit of this thrifty (read: poor white trash) Christmas, mother has sent me, Maxie (trademark--she trademarks all her IP) to bring you the (free) gift of humor. I suppose I am wildly funny as well as beautiful. (Ravishing, really).

And so it is that I present to you, my beloved family (with money), a few of my fave jokes...the punchlines to which I'm sure you will recognize. Without further ado...

Joke 1, Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer: Because there was an even bigger piece of chicken on the other side.

Here we have Murph being an idiot and causing an accident in the roadway for a discarded piece of KFC. Maxie is clearly appalled.

Joke 2, Question: What's black and white and red all over?

Answer: Murph and a bottle of ketchup.

Here we have Murph clutching a yummy treat with her signature "I'm fucked" face. Her tail is thumping into the carpet. All that's missing from the scene is the puddle of piss that will soon be emitted from her pee hole.

Joke 3: Knock, knock
[Who's there?]
Orange
[Orange who?]
Orange ya glad you don't own Murph?

Here we have Murph enjoying a mud pit. She won't come out until she's black as a seal.

Final Question: What's ravishing and doesn't want to become trailer trash?

And here we have Maxie, turning on her inner actress. She's forever soliciting.

Merry Christmas. Hope you laughed at my dogs. They're funny as hell to me.

xoxo,
Bunny

Posted by The Bunny at 1:38 PM