Growlin', and smilin', while in the sun...
It is thrilling to pretend you're PhilaLawyer. I suggest everyone try it once, if only for a few sentences.
But for real, I leave New York tomorrow and I can't come back until I can afford to live here in anything nicer than a cardboard box. The way things are going, that will be too long for my taste.
When last I counted, I'm up to move number seventeen. That's seventeen abodes in six different states in under ten years. I'm so nomadic I tend to be a bit "down" on the state I'm leaving when I make a move, but you know, I'm fucking sad I have to leave New York. Best city I ever lived in.
To say goodbye, I went on a FleetWeek bender--that's how nice my city is to me, it gives me ten thousand sailors as a parting present. It was a fun bender--a modern, genderbending "On The Town" if you will, except nobody could fouetté en tournant. I did sordid things with sailors. I hit on a banjo player in Union Square Park. I went to McSorley's and pissed down the unisex urinals as a late-coming act of protest (and on my heels, regrettably--collateral damage). I ate, and then could not keep down a Katz's Pastrami (why rats are necessary). I burst into tears at the Statue of Liberty. I got into a screaming match with a Palestinian about the history of violence. I got into a screaming match with a Jew about the history of violence. I smacked a hot tranny on the ass and then she threatened to beat me up, and I was totally scared. I lost my voice singing "Killing in the Name of" at karaoke--fuck you, I won't do what you tell me--and later, when I was eager to test out my new and more Palestinian understanding of violence, I got into an "altercation" with some wild bitch and hid from the FiveO in the most unlikely of places: in a booth. Next to the incident. Drinking a beer nonchalantly.
Palestinians are smart. Strike, sink back. Strike, sink back. Cowardly, too, but I'm so not going to the Tombs, not when beer and sailors are still being served somewhere.
And so while I'm frothing at the mouth to get back to Los Angeles and see my baby pups, I'm also profoundly sad I'll be saying goodbye to New York--this, the most outrageous of all my temporary homes--for the time being. At least I went out with a bang. That's important. A good bang is everything.
Posted by The Bunny at 11:33 AM