I hate waiting in line. Thumb twiddling is a bitch. If I don't play little games in my head, I go crazy, fume and begin to fart. Irritable bowel syndrome is an even bigger bitch.
So to keep from farting I play the "Who would I fuck" game. I never thought to ask anyone whether they played this game too or not. I always assumed it was my personal creation, but maybe its not. Here's how it goes...
You're standing in line at the bank, and there is a smattering of ten to fifteen fuming individuals, a few hipsters (depending on where you are), some business types, a little old lady, a few young girls and maybe an oddball character in Harley chaps. I don't know, you decide on the oddball. They're everywhere.
So you've got this smattering and only this smattering. You have to fuck one of them. That's the game, deciding who is the best forced fuck. Sometimes the game is really easy, like say in a particular smattering there's a really cute black girl in chartruese jeans with a bubble but, and she might not blow you away in any singles' bar anywhere, but she's definitely the easy pick. Or say there's a goodlooking hipster or business type you might have no problem fucking. Its difficult when everyone is old, fat and smelly. Imagine fucking a whole group of old smelly people and you'll understand.
But the oddball is always so unfuckable. In fact, when the game gets boring, and the rating begins--who would I want to fuck the most, the second most, the third most, etc--the oddball only clears granny, and even then, the thought of fucking the oddball is repulsive. This game always descends into horrible thoughts of fucking the oddball. Its a vehicle for my repressed masochism, because I eventually remember that I'm an oddball.
I'm lucky I'm a girl.
Posted by The Bunny at 4:47 AM