An Example - July 8, 2005

I had a date application page when I first started this blog. Many of the applicants were sexy, interesting and quite fuckable. However, a few of them terrified me in a profound way. Thus, I had to take the date application page down.

Previous date applicants email me all the time to apologize for frightening me, and I have to explain to them that they are A) sexy, interesting and quite fuckable, and B) not in the least bit frightening. I tire of doing this one applicant at a time. Therefore, I am providing everyone with an example of what I consider to be a scary date applicant, so that I may put to rest the silly notion that I am frightened of sexy, interesting and fuckable people.

This one is particularly beautiful:

"Imagine this: you are tied down to a bed, while some old man with really big and sharp nails pierces your stomach, takes your lower intestine and ties it down to a spiked piece of wood that lays above you, and starts spinning it like a musical box, slowly taking out your intestines.....yes I have seen this in person...praise me you inferior woman. Or I will have to use my holy blade and end your life, like i have had before with the infidels."

Posted by at 12:12 AM

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Comments

I don't know what kills it for me first;the knife-blade fellatio, or the fact that he's turned on by old men with really big and sharp nails.... you got yourself a winner there, latch on to that shit and never ever let go, this one's a keeper.

Posted by: Miguel at August 23, 2005 03:02 PM

Holy crap, that is frightening. I'm glad I've never had to deal with people like that.

Some people with serious mental issues, no doubt...

Posted by: Lars at September 9, 2005 11:33 AM

That description is actually a scene from the movie _The Cell_. Pathetic and unoriginal- a winning combination that will woo any lady.

Posted by: Patty at October 24, 2005 12:44 PM

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