Bloat - February 23, 2005

I speak of it a lot, say it's famous for AIDS and the crescent wrench, but it bears repeating - my home town is really strange. Not eccentric like Savannah, Georgia, because there's little or no money to speak of. When you have money you aren't labeled crazy. You are just considered odd. But the eccentrics in my home town are dirt poor and thus what we call "crazy."

I was there a week and a half ago. While walking around town, I ran into a homeless guy who has been wandering around for twenty years talking to himself and anyone who is nice to him. He has a blonde mullet that's now thinning at the top. His name is Chris, but you can't call him that any more. He only answers to "Christy" now.

When I saw him it was twenty degrees in the sun. He was decked out in Carharts and a parka, but over the parka was the pink spandex and black glitter dance costume I wore in my tenth grade recital. He apparently purchased this at my mother's last garage sale for seventy-five cents. I know this, because I asked him.

Bunny: Sounds like you got a good deal on it.

Christy: Yeah, I thought so. Got a black one with blue tinsel too.

Bunny: Oh, yeah. That was my sister's.

Christy: Okay. I'm wearing that tomorrow.

Bunny: Have you tried it on yet?

Christy: Yeah. It makes me look kind of bloated.
[I imagine when you put a spandex body suit over a parka, bloat happens.]

Bunny: Well, what are you gonna do? Can't change the weather.

Christy: Oh, no I'm premenstrual.

My home town is fucking weird.

Posted by at 9:22 PM

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Just for some perspective, travel sometime to my hoometown: Berkeley, CA. I can only assume that you know at least a little about it, as it is, shall we say, infamous for being "fucking weird."

Posted by: imisslincoln at November 28, 2005 10:47 PM

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