Confidence Day

Many of you have emailed me to ask me this question: "Why are you working in an office?"

I assume that these questioners are new to the BunnyBlog, and that they weren't around when I made the announcement that I was moving to LA to work full time at a design firm and write my book during off hours. I assume these are the same people who ask me why I have stopped looking for Montell Jordan. I assume these are people who recently read about my office poop embarrassment. Wait a minute?, they think...she said she was an unemployed loser. I am a bit stingy with the life details, I know.

I began blogging a few years ago. Some of you may know this already. I did it for one reason alone, because I was off-my-rocker crazy. I needed a totally self-centric canvas on which to apply the colors of my insanity, the blue of my "I hate myself," the red of my "I'm going to throw your TV out the window," the yellow of my "Let's drink this whole bottle of Everclear and then take a lot of pills." I figured that, with enough layering, these "dapples" would make sense to me. For the most part, they have, and now they're going into a book, so I no longer need to publicly display my innards.

I've been quite busy since I left Chicago, busy philandering, writing, drinking and snorting this and that, bee-bopping about LA in hopes of finding Mr./Mrs. Right Now. I haven't posted about it, because, as I have stated about a thousand times, I am writing a book and have no time for frivolous extras. But there is another reason I don't post: I am not a fucking ego maniac. I mean, let's face it, there is another reason to blog, and this reason is self-celebration. It suits those who are completely in love with themselves. I do not belong in this category, as I love everyone but myself. I often wonder what would happen if I had the self-esteem of a regular blogger and all this talent. I'd probably be sucking senator cock on the moon.

I think it would be nice, just for today, if we pretended I was the very lovely but not particularly talented Jessica Cutler, and I spilled all kinds of details about myself, in order to fascinate myself.

August 18th 2006
I totally quit my job

So I quit my job two weeks ago. I was annoyed with all the Christianity in the breakroom, and the toilet seats at Starbucks were totally starting to chafe my buns. Plus I have a book deal and stuff, so I should I take a break from this working thing and concentrate on my writing. I got a mani/pedi and an eightball to celebrate, which I shared with the lead singer of BendSinister, if you don't know who they are, you are a loser.

I took a really big dump in the ladies room at work, just because I had to do it once before I left. That was fun.
I don't think there's much at work that I'll miss (cept' the paychecks of course). Oh and my big fat beautiful Wacom tablet. I've attached a picture of it to brag.

View image

I'm getting boobs some time this winter, so if you guys want to donate money to the cause that'd be great. I promise not to blow it on drugs. I think my new boobs will look super in my Dolce and Gabbana bikini. I'll take a pic of my cleavage and make it my new site design.

So that's about it for today. Tomorrow I'll write a rant about the Korean lady with the bad breath at the nail salon, and you'll read it all anyway even though you'll want to stab yourself in the eyeballs for doing it. You'll come back the next day too, mostly because I'm really good looking and very confident, and you'll read about my weekend fling with some guy I haven't met yet. You'll really kick yourself for that.

Bunny out!

A fun game: Which parts of this post are Bunny, and which are an homage?

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