Cool People-1, Christians-0
I just got an email from a Grove City graduate. He knows my best friend and the people I met through her.
"When I saw your Grove City blog, I was dying laughing. Only because I went to Grove City and knew exactly what was going to happen when you said, "I decided to take a shortcut across the grass..." Hilarious. Funny thing is, about 90% of the campus is just as scared of the "Clowns for Christ" as you were..."
This reminds me of a great story recounted to me by a friend I met at my best friend's wedding. He was the best man and I was a heavily drugged bridesmaid. The mother of the bride had slipped me some Xanax before the ceremony. I walked down the aisle sideways.
Anyway, BestMan is a playwright in New York. We began exchanging emails after the wedding, when I woke up next to him fully clothed but soaking wet on a two-foot wide couch in some bed in breakfast. Still not sure what happened there. Whatever did was a classic Bunny story that never came into fruition. Even in an email this kid's comedic ability is infuriating. I would get one or two a day, all fucking hilarious, all the kind of shit I would have to sit at a screen for hours beating myself in the head to extract.
One story was truly superior. It starts at the end of Best Man's senior year at Grove City. He graduated with my best friend and her soon to be husband. All three were very intelligent and cool, only attending Grove City because it was a good school.
Husband is a driven man. He wanted to get into a good Med school, so his grades were perfect. This made him Valedictorian of his class. The Christians at the school were appalled that this blasphemous (read: normal) man would be giving the Valedictorian speech at graduation. Apparently at Grove City it is read with a bible in hand. Very traditional. Pardon me while I kick something.
The night before graduation, Husband and Best Man procured a bottle of Maker's Mark. They proceeded to drink it in the front yard of some house in Grove City, and when they finished, Husband drove back to campus (which he doesn't remember doing), entered his dorm room and promptly vomited all over the bible he was supposed to give the speech with.
The next day he was pasty and had the sweats. He showed up for graduation with a vomit covered bible and delivered his speech. And that's about the coolest thing I have ever heard of happening at a Christian college.
God bless that man. And God bless Maker's Mark.
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