Fuck you! - March 6, 2007
I swear to fucking God, if you are my friend, and you're having a crisis, and you need to call me and get therapy, put the fucking phone down and step away. Sweet motherfucking Christ. I know I have this hunger for helping. I know I totally get off on being Miss Fixit, but I'm losing it. I am not a god damned licensed therapist.
And YOU! What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you retarded? I told you what to fucking do, so go out and fucking do it. If you're not going to do what I told you, then why don't you just go off and whine your way to hell. I'm not you're mom who was mean to you; I'm not your dad who flew the coop. I'm not your punching bag, and I am most certainly not responsible for any god damned thing that happens to you, nor any foul mood you stagnate your motionless life into, you fully fucking grown, whiny as shit, self-indulgent men and women.
Is it so god damned hard to process an emotion or two? Is that the end of the fucking world for you? Boo-fucking-hoo. If I was as emotionally lazy as you, I'd be dead. So fuck off.
Phew. That felt really good. I'll call you later.
And now, here's your Maxie fix. I think we can all agree she's, like, the cutest fucking animal ever. Now would not be the time to disagree with me.
Posted by The Bunny at 10:08 PM
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Fuckin' A, Bunny.
Posted by: Tedd at March 6, 2007 10:37 PM
I agree...does someone have some vagina that they're willing to let TheBunny play with?
Posted by: Kyle at March 6, 2007 11:08 PM
Oh, I do believe that I will be taking care of the mutts while Tucker is in Texas. WERE GETTIN' CARL'S JR., MOMMY!!!
Posted by: KungFu Mike ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.thebunnyblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at March 6, 2007 11:34 PM
Thank you Bunny! I think I'm going to copy and paste that into e-mail the next time I get hit up for advice that my fucked up friends will never ever take.
Posted by: LilaChicaD at March 7, 2007 12:24 AM
Ooooh. Angry Bunny. I should be scared, but I'm not. Sometimes the truth just needs to come out like that, don't it?
And yes, your pup is gorgeous. But if I say she's the cutest, my neurotic (and also beautiful) golden retriever will get yet another complex. So let's just leave it at that.
Posted by: M at March 7, 2007 06:51 AM
amen sister.
I'd like to know more about maxie's grooming regimen - how does she get her coat is so sleek & shiny?
Posted by: jolie at March 7, 2007 07:01 AM
Is this the PMS thing you have told us about? One word for you sweety, Valium!
Posted by: Johnny at March 7, 2007 08:57 AM
"I'd like to know more about maxie's grooming regimen - how does she get her coat is so sleek & shiny?"
Aunt Trixie buys her salon quality doggie product. And she gets a full blow dry after bath time. It really helps.
Posted by: TheTrixie at March 7, 2007 11:16 AM
Please, don't hold back. Tell us how you really feel.
Posted by: Andrew at March 7, 2007 08:37 PM
right, remind me to take up buddhism so in my next life I can come back as maxie. spoiled by the bunny, groomed by the trixie - that's the freaking life!
Posted by: jolie at March 8, 2007 07:48 AM
My boy love for life (my dog Astro) is booked for a day of reluctant beauty tomorrow. God knows he needs it. He rolled in horse poop yesterday.
Posted by: M at March 8, 2007 07:58 PM
This whole rant reminded me of an interview Kurt Vonnegut did some years ago. He said he wanted to start an organization that would tell stupid people how to solve their problems.
"The only catch," Kurt said, "was that the people had to obey. They didn't have the opportunity to disagree."
Kurt said the idea had to be disbanded because he had no recourse to take if the people refused his advice.
"We couldn't call in a hitman from Detroit," he said.
BTW - I like the new header graphic better than the old one. That haunted little girl with green eyes looked like it was painted by a hybrid of Norman Rockwell and Picasso.
Posted by: Shteevie at March 11, 2007 02:15 PM
I love how even in the thrust of a rant, you manage to spotlight one of your snouts. Such a puppy parent.
Posted by: Austin at March 20, 2007 01:54 AM
she's got some big puppy eyes... i'll bet it's hard to get mad at her...
(how could no one notice?...)
Posted by: jtarin at May 6, 2009 07:44 AM
