Hey I'm not Dead - May 28, 2008

[Since I rarely obey the rules of cogence, let's start with an aside: Remember that Saturday Night Live skit back in the day of Kevin Nealon and Dana Carvey, the one where they spoofed a commercial advertising Natalie Cole singing duets over dead people's tracks, and the hilarious Jan Hooks played Tammy Wynette, and the hilarious Ellen Cleghorne played Natalie Cole singing over "Stand by your man" while Jan Hooks protested, "HEY! I'M NOT DEAD!" Instead of singing "Stand by your man," Ellen as Natalie sang "Hey, I'm not dead."

That was funny].

So. I'm feeling frisky again. Rawr.

I left LA, and I don't really want to say where I've gone, or why, or how, because...I don't know. Maybe I'm tired of constant sharing, you know. Maybe I'd just like to keep this to myself for a little while, and then write about it later. Maybe I'd like some privacy?

Or maybe I'm tired of the Muslims threatening to crawl through my Hancock Park window and slice my clit off.

Suffice it to say, you guys would totally crack up if you knew where Maxie and I landed. I am thoroughly entrenched in hippy. I went hiking through something called "a vortex" this morning--a scientific bafflement; the excess of energy in one small spot due to God, or a heavy concentration of metals (depends on who you ask)--and the excess of God/metal energy gave me the roaring shits. I had to excuse myself and go crap in a bush, and then a big, yellow Gopher snake slithered through my shit and turned brownish, and I thought Ah, the beauty of nature. I have a Reiki date in an hour with a guy I met at the New Age Healing Center. We're going to suck the negativity out of each other with our hands and stuff, and then drink tea made out of cactus parts. I'll be spiking mine with Tequila. Is this love that I'm feeling?

Hey, I'm not dead. You can look forward to more Bunny stories in the near future. I currently remember owing you:

-An end to my Manic Summer series,
-My night out with the Wizards,
-The Bondage Ball, and
-The night I kissed the ugliest girl ever.

Kisses everywhere. I love you all (even the Muslims),
Buns

Posted by The Bunny at 8:15 PM

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Comments

I am 99% sure you are less than 150 miles from me at the current moment (the vortex thing, the hippy thing)... even the thought of the possibility of that has me giddy with excitement.

Posted by: Ashley at May 29, 2008 03:23 AM

Just the supermodel? No Murph pup???

I totally feel you. I took off for a 3 months once. Ended up in Germany. Let me tell you...riots in a communist bloc can be a great place to meet people.

Posted by: Jezebel at May 29, 2008 08:00 AM

Is there a story with the Muslims?

Posted by: Kyoko at May 29, 2008 09:11 AM

Hi Bunny,

Sorry to be nosy, but where's Murph pup?

Posted by: Andrea Cote at May 29, 2008 09:20 AM

Aw, you get to have all the fun :(

Posted by: Mandi at May 29, 2008 09:49 AM

i kinda miss you

Posted by: anonymous at May 29, 2008 12:51 PM

While I am 100% certain you aren't on my sofa out here in the Austin suburbs, I can't wait to hear more about your hippie (mis)adventures.

I hope you find what you're looking for--yourself, I presume.

Posted by: judi at May 29, 2008 01:34 PM

I don't kinda miss you, but I sure do wish you would write (thats what my grandma always says.) I want to hear more about you in the closed guard. Is your guard still closed?

Bunny Edit: You don't miss me, so fuck yourself.

Posted by: R at May 29, 2008 03:38 PM

is it [redacted]? i lived in [redacted] for a short period and took weekend trips up to that hippie town. its supposed to be the new age mecca of the moment. don't drink the koolaid

Bunny edit: Hon, you're right, but Muslims are scary.

Posted by: Toni at May 29, 2008 07:38 PM

I would think that it's not Muslims that are scary, but rather deranged clit-chopping fundies.
And is anyone else highly amused by all the Muslim matrimonial site ads?

Posted by: Corballicious at July 22, 2008 06:52 PM