I Don't Suck - June 28, 2006

My ability to pick on myself, it seems, is limitless.

Today, while toiling away at my desk, I felt particularly worthless. This, of course, had nothing to do with the 27 and a half days give or take that have passed since my last period, or the Mexican Synthroid coursing manically through my normally slow veins, or the suspicious ninja-like sounds outside my window that keep me up at night and force me to cover my neck with my hands on pee trips to the bathroom so as to reflect any throwing stars meant for my larynx. Today I rejected these lame excuses. The real reason I felt worthless, was this: I just suck, naturally, and with no explanation aside from the simple and clear fact that God made me sucky. He opened the heavens and shat upon you in the form of me.

Later, I was on the Internet researching the cost of used trailors I could park in Arkansas and live suckily in for the rest of my years when I decided to pile more gloom upon this morning's already significant heap by Googling "thebunnyblog." I figured it would be nice to see how much people hate my writing and think it sucks. Google brought up hundreds of pages, which surprised me. Surely I have been toiling in obscurity, whining in private, bitching to several tens of people all these years? Why so many pages? Is there another "thebunnyblog" written by someone who can actually write? Is there another Bunny in a parallel universe who is not completely repulsive in every way, shape and form?

No, there's just me. And what's more, you guys actually like me. I had no idea.

Well, I'll be...

Trixie Edit: Stop sucking and start answering your goddamned phone, bitch!

(sorry people, this is the only way I can get her attention)

Posted by The Bunny at 7:04 PM

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Whatever, you suck and you know it.

Now skip out of work and meet us at the dogpark.

And don't forget about Chris' show the Saturday.

Posted by: sillylittlefreak at June 28, 2006 08:17 PM

I like your writing. It comes from a good place.

Posted by: backwards7 at June 28, 2006 09:38 PM

You're a fun girl and we like you. Yup, we really do. That's why we religiously check your site for updates..

Or...maybe you like us?! Eh, probably not!

Posted by: The_Great_Ley at June 29, 2006 12:35 AM

Silly, silly bunny. There is a website where you type in other websites and it googles both of them and tells you which one is more popular. So when I ran across it the first two sites i had battle against each other was thebunnyblog and tuckermax. Tucker Max had a little over 10 million you had a little over 17 million. You kicked his ass!!!! Your somebody who is wild and crazy but people can still relate to you. Tucker is hard to relate to. His craziness is by choice yours is who you are, and thats way cooler.

Posted by: KiDDo at June 29, 2006 12:56 AM

Like you?! All I now want in life is to be one of your vicarious minions. <3

Posted by: andron at June 29, 2006 02:38 PM

So, you fantasize about living out your days in a trailer in the middle of nowhere too? Whenever you feel like a failure? Me too! Except my trailer is always in the desert, not Arkansas. Utah, Nevada, maybe Arizona, even in the Mojave, in SoCal, but always the desert.

PS: Sorry I'm suddenly posting so much. I've been drinking beer in front of my computer again and that always makes commenting seem like a really good idea.

Posted by: BeckyC at November 13, 2006 01:26 AM

Ok, I admit that Tucker Max is a literary genius, and I do find him halarious, but to me, your blog is so much more relatable. I don't know if it's because we're both women, or we're both bisexual, or the fact that we both have the overall maturity of a piece of plastic dog poo, but I totally dig your blog more then any others. Kudos Bunny, you sexy thing you.

Posted by: Kshizzle at June 26, 2008 12:04 PM

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