I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali... - May 28, 2007

Going back to Cali, stylin', profilin'
Growlin', and smilin', while in the sun...

It is thrilling to pretend you're PhilaLawyer. I suggest everyone try it once, if only for a few sentences.

But for real, I leave New York tomorrow and I can't come back until I can afford to live here in anything nicer than a cardboard box. The way things are going, that will be too long for my taste.

When last I counted, I'm up to move number seventeen. That's seventeen abodes in six different states in under ten years. I'm so nomadic I tend to be a bit "down" on the state I'm leaving when I make a move, but you know, I'm fucking sad I have to leave New York. Best city I ever lived in.

To say goodbye, I went on a FleetWeek bender--that's how nice my city is to me, it gives me ten thousand sailors as a parting present. It was a fun bender--a modern, genderbending "On The Town" if you will, except nobody could fouetté en tournant. I did sordid things with sailors. I hit on a banjo player in Union Square Park. I went to McSorley's and pissed down the unisex urinals as a late-coming act of protest (and on my heels, regrettably--collateral damage). I ate, and then could not keep down a Katz's Pastrami (why rats are necessary). I burst into tears at the Statue of Liberty. I got into a screaming match with a Palestinian about the history of violence. I got into a screaming match with a Jew about the history of violence. I smacked a hot tranny on the ass and then she threatened to beat me up, and I was totally scared. I lost my voice singing "Killing in the Name of" at karaoke--fuck you, I won't do what you tell me--and later, when I was eager to test out my new and more Palestinian understanding of violence, I got into an "altercation" with some wild bitch and hid from the FiveO in the most unlikely of places: in a booth. Next to the incident. Drinking a beer nonchalantly.

Palestinians are smart. Strike, sink back. Strike, sink back. Cowardly, too, but I'm so not going to the Tombs, not when beer and sailors are still being served somewhere.

And so while I'm frothing at the mouth to get back to Los Angeles and see my baby pups, I'm also profoundly sad I'll be saying goodbye to New York--this, the most outrageous of all my temporary homes--for the time being. At least I went out with a bang. That's important. A good bang is everything.

Posted by The Bunny at 11:33 AM

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Well, it's official: God hates me. I'm coming to NYC at the end of this week, right as you leave. *sniff sniff sob sob* I hope you'll find your way back soon, Bunny. You + New York = Swoon.

Posted by: jolie at May 28, 2007 01:06 PM

I wish I had it in me to move around as much as you do.

Posted by: Kyoko at May 28, 2007 03:41 PM

Hmm, Kinda fortuitous that tucker is also moving ?!?! I call shennanigans

Posted by: Uncle Slappy Nuts at May 28, 2007 05:05 PM

buh bye, bunny girl. too bad we never got to have drinks and cause mayhem.

good luck in LA :)

Posted by: Courtney at May 28, 2007 05:57 PM

There's a certain correctness to waking up in different places all the time. It's good for the brain... Feels liberating, the way driving with music blaring through your head does. The trip's just measured in weeks or months or years as opposed to minutes and hours. There's no comfort in being home unless you're moving around a lot; what's there to compare its constancy to?

Posted by: philalawyer at May 28, 2007 11:28 PM

"Singing 'Killing In the Name Of' at Karaoke"

Goddamn you are awesome, welcome back.

Posted by: DaveJ at May 29, 2007 01:08 AM

You know, even though I never saw you here, never would have run into you or seen you... There was a certain comfort knowing you WERE here. Come back soon. It really won't be the same without you.

Posted by: JMR at May 29, 2007 12:11 PM

would you ever move to Las Vegas? (aka xray city, 'cuz you can see though it)

Posted by: not a doktor at May 29, 2007 01:44 PM

Amazing song choice for karaoke. I was rocking out to that song this weekend. : ) Good times. Good luck with the move.

Posted by: Wayland at May 29, 2007 05:09 PM

Towards the end of my traveling phases, I start to wonder if relativity is taking effect. Have I moved far enough and fast enough that I am now in a different time from everybody else?

That happen to you?

Posted by: HalfNelson at May 29, 2007 11:01 PM

Moving from New York because it's really expensive: Smart!

...and then moving to L.A.: WTF? You're taking a beautiful swan dive out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Posted by: CJ Croy at May 30, 2007 11:24 PM

DAMN YOU BUNNY! I can't believe I've been working in TriBeCa for a whole year, walking around in Chinatown...and not once did I see your bunny ass! I really wish i had gotten a glimpse. Too bad.

Posted by: Liz at May 31, 2007 11:34 PM