Missing my Snouts - February 15, 2007
Many have been asking me, "Bunny, what about the dogs?"
Yes, I'm not faring well without my snouts. They are in Los Angeles being tended to by their father, my irascible ex boyfriend Tucker Max. Tucker's new hero is the host of the National Geographic Channel's "Dog Whisperer," Cesar Millan, the foxy Mexican guy with frosty hair who tames spoiled American dogs out of their neuroses in, like, minutes. Tucker has the Cesar Millan memoir, a DVD of "Dog Whisperer" season one, and "Dog Whisperer" on Tivo. I find myself watching the show quite a bit, if for no other reason than to see dogs move, lick faces, wag their tails, etc. I then try to imagine my Maxie pup prancing haughtily, and Murph being a retard.
Tucker has fashioned himself after Cesar. He quiets dogs and people in the same "Sht" way of Cesar, and applies doggie logic to human problems. He's devoted every minute of his free time to curing Murph's mentalness and keeping Maxie in line. I get updates like, "Our morning migration was very successful. Murph pup likes her new job of being water bottle carrier very much. It has helped increase her doggy self esteem by a great measure. Maxie has yet to fall in line," and...
"Murph pup has made great strides in her battle with food obsession. She no longer squeals and jumps when I pour out her kibble, and she sits and waits for my command to eat. Maxie has yet to fall in line," and...
"Murph pup has not made a single nervous wet since three weeks ago when you came to pick me up at the airport and she pissed all over my seat. Maxie has yet to fall in line."
It's nice to know some things never change. Things like Maxie's superiority complex. Here she is looking way too cool for the family portrait:
Posted by The Bunny at 4:06 PM
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Comments
Ooooh, Bunny. you're such a festival of cuteness. All of your entries make me want to kiss you.
Posted by: Cayla at February 15, 2007 04:23 PM
I know those dogs. Pasadena dog park right? They get up on the benches and lick people on the face all the time. So the cute girl who runs around telling them not to must be you eh? Nice legs.
Posted by: Grehman at February 15, 2007 06:43 PM
Whoa, I lived in Pasadena up until July 2006, when I left for FL to become a full-blown piled high 'n' deeper student in forestry! I've seen dogs that look a lot like those two passing through Pasadena Roving Archers (Lower Arroyo Seco)... not yours, by chance, are they?
Posted by: RecurveHawk at February 15, 2007 10:59 PM
To me, Cesar's appeal lies not necessarily in the "salvation" of spoiled dogs, but in his handling of the people that made the dogs that way. He quickly and efficiently shows the owners that 99.9% of dogs do not have a priori evil or craziness directing "wrong" actions. The competent and non-confrontational manner in which Milan points out behavioral flaws in people always amazes me. I am by no means surprised this man rose from humble origins in Mexico to build an empire in California.
On a side note, NGeo now airs ridiculous documentaries on military hardware, lush creature biopics and Dog Whisperer episodes. I see no reason to ever change the channel, beyond the occasional dose of sports.
Posted by: Amphibian at February 16, 2007 12:25 AM
No! No, no, no Cesar Milan! Bad! Eh-eh!! Leave it!
Dogs needs structure, they need consistent (and mostly positive) reinforcement, they need intellectual stimulation and plenty of exercise. They don't need Cesar. Using flooding techniques to overcome issues on socialization with people would be like if you were afraid of spiders, so we poured a bucket of them on you, and then told you to not act afraid. That's just one example. Don't get me started...
Posted by: HybridVigor at February 16, 2007 11:32 AM
I agree with "HybridVigor".
Cesar has taken dog training back by DECADES. Any advancements we have made in the field have gone out the window.
Sigh.
The vet clinic I work at has actually seen an increase in tracheal issues, due to those collars worn high on the neck. The dogs are working for Cesar out of pain-avoidance and fear. He has some good points, but it's nothing new and there are trainers who are much kinder (and more effective).
Posted by: Jen at February 16, 2007 10:09 PM
I had an erotic dream about Cesar once. Now, everytime I watch that show, I blush.
I brought my dog ice fishing today. It would suck to be without him for too long. Maybe your ex can bring the dogs to visit you? I would probably take a load to the face for that.
Aaand, I should probably delete that.
Posted by: M at February 18, 2007 09:27 PM
Yeah, yeah, the dogs are cute and I feel your pain without them (as I've told you). Of more pressing importance, though... did you sneak boobies into your new site design? Because I kind of think you did.
xo
Posted by: Donika at February 19, 2007 02:54 PM
I like the new header on the page but yeah, did you sneak some boobies into the design? Hmmm...
Posted by: Austin at February 21, 2007 02:30 AM
