She who makes my Soul Sing
Tucker is "friends" with some awesome girls. Especially right now. But Tucker also meets all kinds of critters through his website. One night while still dating, we were waiting at a bar for one of these women to show up, me completely sober, and Tucker nearing black-out drunkeness for his second time that day. She walked in, and everyone got wide-eyed and choked on their beer. She was disgusting. What was even more disgusting? Tucker was so drunk and so accostomed to critters he hit on her anyway.
Later in the night,
Tucker: "Hhoney, dyou wanna have sssexes with Dana (critter)?"
Me: [noticing she looks like the crypt keeper] "Uh, no."
Tucker: "Whyy not? Sheese got great tits."
Me: [noticing she is two days away from an outbreak of Kaposi's Sarcoma] "Uh, no."
I like my women uninfected. Nothing turns me on more than shiny hair and freckles. So while I was flipping through a magazine on the stairmaster at my gym one day, I was stoked to see a "make-under" section with close-ups of hot women wearing little or no makeup. They all looked pretty good. Jenny Macarthy is surprisingly healthy and sans-wrinkle.
Then I turned the page. I nearly fell off the stairmaster. There before my eyes was one of the most naturally beautiful women I have ever seen. She looked like she had been caught in midst of a hike to Machu Pichu with a dewy brow from the moist atmosphere, eyes clear and blue as the azure sky, skin smooth and freckled. Honestly, I was shocked at her natural beauty.
What was even more shocking was that this woman was Jenna Jameson. The porn star.
This isn't the exact pic, but close.
Update (03.18.05): Gigi and Miss Kitty are friends with someone who knows Jenna personally. When she comes to Chicago next month, I will get to meet her. I may not be able to handle this.
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