ShrinkTalk - January 12, 2009

I was very excited to see a bunny post this afternoon in my rss feed, I actually yelled out "Bunny!!"

Touching, like a Jamestown III.

P.S. I did too, Jesse. I did too.

As soon as I read the words, "Erin Tyler" I was crazy-excited - I miss your blogs, Bunny, because they are always insightful and interesting, and I always want them to be 100x longer!

Amazing stuff. Thanks for documenting your process and feelings. It is crazy brave and necessary.

Thank you Buns.

I was so excited to see a Bunny post! I haven't given up checking here, because I know whenever we're lucky enough to get a post, it will be worth it. You're amazing. Thank you.

Anne is right.
The fact that you understand you need to work through all the shit is reason enough to believe you may start to feel better one day, Bunny.

I just read the post. You're freaking beautiful.

Welcome back our friend to the crap that never ends.

Just put your toe in..

bunny,

you are amazing. thank you for sharing your life and emotions with perfect strangers. you make some of us feel a little bit normal. best to you always, erin. keep writing. you help more than you know.

i'm really addicted to your writing. i was sad that you haven't updated in a long time, but i guess if you're writing a book then it's okay...

Erin, I would give anything to have you write a new piece. I'm alone in a strange place, just had my heart broken, am trying to stick 24 years of growing up into the pocket of a week.

I love you. I wish you would write more. You rock all of my socks, especially the ones that don't match.

I read the article on Dr. Rob's site and I have to give you a HUGE round of applause! Kudos to you for fighting this fight, for being so honest, for sharing so much with others. Ironically, I'm doing the same thing but you verbalized it better than I ever could have.

I especially agree with this: "I am going to figure out why I got so sick, exactly what happened and why it worked, and I'm going to make sure it never happens again. In fact, the only part of the false history of me that remains is stubbornness. I am one stubborn motherfucker, and I'm starting to realize that's a good thing."

I was completely abused as a kid - sexually, physically and emotionally by my father and emotionally abused and abandoned by my mother(it took me almost ten years to be able to say that and not flinch). I wound up in foster care at 15, returned to my father's custody at 17, kicked out of my father's home at 18 and homeless when I dropped out of school. But there's been successes too - I got my GED six months after I dropped out, went to college for a few years which really changed my life, and currently am a mother to a beautiful 2 year old who's changed my life and own my own business. I also wound up in more bad relationships than I can count for all the wrong reasons. My parents brainwashed me into disbelieving everything I thought about myself and I'm working hard to undo that. At one point, around at 12 - 14 I honestly believed that I deserved what my father did to me and that if I would just BEHAVE better, I would stop getting punished. It never occurred to me that this was a battle I couldn't win, and I just would try harder. I became conditioned to be a perfectionist and a lot of other things. I understand the stubbornness, I don't give up, even sometimes when I should.

My point is, I agree completely with what you've said, you're not alone, and you've given me a small dose of validation - that I'm not the only one doing it this way and that I'm not crazy to constantly be journaling about this stuff. I use my blog as a tool as part of my therapy - as a way to deal with issues, to brainstorm, to question, to FIGURE it out or at least work at it until I do. People who read my blog have trouble understanding that and I just let them because I'm doing this for me, not them.

I hope you finish your book. I'd personally love to read it. Feel free to email me when it's finished. I'm a writer too so if you want feedback, I'd be happy to help. I've been writing fiction for fifteen years and have a memoir of my own that I've been working on over the years. I'm a member of Writing.com as michellekeyes. Feel free to email me if you wish (although it sounds like you have plenty of friends lol) and best of luck with all you do. I'm sure you'll do great!

I just want to find out what happened to your dogs,along with Princess Sparkle Bottom and Officer Penguin.

Oh, Bunny. I've missed your writing so much. I write obsessively all the time, everywhere as well, I write with Micron pens in unlined hardback Moleskine journal-books. I go through about 8 or 10 journal-books a year, write write write. No one ever sees it. I'm putting it all together, too, compiling and planning my magnum opus in much the same manner as are you. And I, too, will someday finish The Book.

I've missed you so much, Bunny! I have missed your writing SO goddamn much. So much.