Testimonial - September 14, 2005
Dear Readers of My Mommy's Blog:
My name is Murphy Allister Max and I am doing my best at typing, but its very hard, as I have no opposable thumbs. Please bear with me. Mmmm...bears. I like to chew them when they are stuffed.
I would like to tell you about a product that has changed my life...DOGGY DIAPERS.
Before Mommy and Daddy bought me doggy diapers, I was a pariah in my family. When company would come over, they would chain me to the radiator like some common dog, because I could not control my nervous wetting. When it was time for sleepy, they would lock me in a little doggy cage, like some sort of doggy criminal, because I would get so excited to see my Mommy in the morning that I would jump onto her chest and piss on it. I was not allowed on the furniture for fear that excitement would overcome me. I had to spend my time on the floor, the way only ugly dogs should have to. Mommy had to keep a mop and bucket at the ready, and follow me around with it because I could not control my excitable urination. It was awful--I felt my life spiraling out of control. I felt like an outcast, not part of the family, treated like a common mutt. How would I go on?
The problem spiked just before Daddy came home to Chicago from a long trip. Momma swore she would never take me back to the doggy jail, but I could see the doubt right next to the dark circles under her eyes. I was concerned. After my first nervous wet on Daddy, he became very angry, much more so than Momma would have been. He finished cursing at me, and we immediately got into the car and went to my favorite store, PetSmart. They are nice. They let me go inside, sniff the rawhides, and piss on the linoleum. And what's more, nobody gets mad about it! I feel so comfortable there.
Mommy and Daddy bought the doggy diapers and some treats. When we got home, daddy put the diaper on me. I had never seen it before, so I peed. It was as scary as grocery bags and skateboards. Not quite as scary as a squirrel, but close. But once daddy put them on, they felt okay, and I was no longer scared.
And then a strange occurrence happened. Soon Mommy and Daddy allowed me to hop on the furniture, play on their laps, and meet strangers without being tied to that pesky radiator (I don't even go near it now). They trusted me to do all the things my sister gets to do, but I am too naughty with my pee pee to do. And that night, because I was so good, I got the holy grail of dogginess--I got to sleep on the bed with my family! I've never felt so loved. My doggy self esteem is at an all time high!
I have to admit, I do still make nervous wets sometimes. But now that they are caught by my doggy diapers, I'm no longer shamed and embarrassed by my problem. I can hold my snout high knowing that I, too, am continent!
THANK YOU DOGGY DIAPERS!
Licks,
Murphy Pup
Posted by The Bunny at 10:07 AM
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Comments
My 6 month old puppy does the same thing, but the bigger he gets, the less he does it. I love when people reach in the car to pet him and he pees all over the seat. They are always out of those diapers in the male style whenever I go to my local petsmart :-/. But hopefully Murphy will grow out of it too! Try to take him around so many new people he isn't even fazed anymore.
Posted by: Jen ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.thebunnyblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at September 14, 2005 12:08 PM
Hoorah for doggy diapers! It's good to hear that Murphy will no longer be limited in activities due to her embarrassing little problem! Hopefully there will be a great outgrowing, and it will no longer be a problem soon.
This post made me smile. :)
Posted by: Kate at September 14, 2005 01:49 PM
Congratulations, Murphy!
I'm glad that your self esteem is soaring and that you will never have to go near that radiator again.
Posted by: Darling Nikki at September 14, 2005 01:55 PM
Another thing to help speed up the "not pee everywhere all the time" training.
- When you first get home and she is excited to see you, pet her under her chin instead of on the head, it is a less dominanting form of affection, and will help her to be less nervous.
Posted by: Setion at September 14, 2005 01:59 PM
My neighbors used to put diapers on their dogs to stop them from having sex. I like your use better.
Posted by: Barbie at September 15, 2005 12:38 PM
S'Up Murphy. My dogs said to send their regards to you. They are glad you got away from the radiator and are happy with your new freedom with the diapers. They aren't are smart as you and can't type yet so they had me type it for them. Woof, Woof. Bark, Bark, Bow-wow.
Posted by: JB at October 8, 2005 10:06 AM
i honestly thought this would be dumb... but i laughed... out loud... about the squirrel bit... seriously good work...
Posted by: jtarin at March 16, 2009 03:31 PM
