The L Word - January 22, 2008

People ask me all the time, "Bunny, what do you think of 'The L Word?'" "I bet you just love 'The L Word.'" "How great is 'The L Word?'"

I don't watch it. Isn't that silly? There's a show on Showtime--the hot, wet boobies, and red shoe diaries, masturbatory staple of my youth--and that show is a full-frontal nude lesbian sex and drama circus, and I don't watch it. That doesn't make sense. I know.

I did catch an episode in season one, and that happened to be--unfortunately--an episode in which there was no hot lesbo sex, and somebody named Bette was cold and obnoxious, though I knew her to be--in her former life--the smoking, spot welding, hot ass-cheeks and legwarmers Jennifer Beals. It was confusing to me, and it encroached upon my old childhood fantasy. The one where I get caught in a rainstorm in Pittsburgh, and unwittingly run face first into the supple Alex Owens on her way home from her night job, as an exotic dancer at Mawby's--and as I am distressed not unlike a wet labrador puppy--she takes me in and...well...the rest is my fantasy. You can't have it. I'll only tell you, that during our encounter she never once resembled Bette, frigid bitch and art snob.

Naturally, I grew a disdain. I grudged, and for a great period of time, I went without seeing a single glimpse of the show. Recently, after I went crazy, I developed a nasty chest cold and found myself in bed for five straight days afore the telly. The L Word was on, so I caught the most recent episode, season five, episode three.

I was confused. There is so much I don't know about being gay. Take for instance:

Only gay women go to jail. There are no straight women in correctional facilities.

Men want to destroy the careers of lesbians, and rob their west hollywood, lesbian-only coffeehouses.

Men don't understand when lesbians want to study, and sometimes throw lesbians into lakes.

Pretty, blonde, fake breasted, lesbian heart surgeons can be found on Internet dating sites, and all it takes is one bad date to bed them.

How is a show starring ten attractive lesbians sucking and fucking their way through LA so patently unwatchable? I'm agog. Aghast.

Only one thing is certain at this juncture: I'll never miss another episode.

Posted by The Bunny at 11:51 PM

Print Friendly · Digg it · del.icio.us · StumbleUpon · Netscape

Comment Policy:

Anonymous comments are allowed. All anonymous comments and comments from those not registered with TypeKey are moderated. They WILL NOT appear until they are read and approved by a moderator.

It is strongly encouraged that you sign up and login with a TypeKey account. Once you do that, your comments will be immediately posted.

Comments

I am so sad about this post. You caught what was certainly the worst episode in the entire series. Please, please, please do not judge the show based on that episode. I am a huge fan of the show, and my friends (all lesbians) are too, and none of us could sit through that episode. It was a God-awful episode of what has been a fabulous show. Please give it a second chance! Watch episodes from the first through third seasons. It starts to get a little goofy around the fourth season, but if you pick it up before that, you WILL be addicted. You never saw Carmen. Or Shane at her finest. Seriously, if you like women, just give it a shot.

Posted by: l word lover at January 23, 2008 09:24 AM

Oh welcome to the world of TLW fans - we love it because it's so completely absurd! a dear friend of mine writes The L Word Watch for EW.com, you should check it out!

Posted by: jolie at January 23, 2008 10:17 AM

WTF?!!! And here I have been watching football on Sunday nights?

Posted by: Scott at January 23, 2008 12:46 PM

Um wow. Intense scene on that last one...eh, what do I know aside from nothing? I'm glad you've got a show you like.

Posted by: Wayland at January 23, 2008 02:02 PM

of course she doesnt like the l word, shes a straight girl who likes to have sex with women. not that thats a bad thing, but bunny is in no way shape or form involved with any kind of queer culture. i think its dumb that anyone would think she would understand/appreciate/like the show.

Bunny Edit: False. I loved Queer as Folk. I have about zero in common with any of those characters, but as they were well written and the story lines weren't totally preposterous, I adored the show.

Good writing is good writing, and The L Word doesn't look like good writing to me.

Posted by: anon at January 24, 2008 09:13 AM

10 lesbians, all with 10 long fingernails? I called bullshit on the first episode and haven't been able to watch one since.

The only gay women in jail thing is at least moderately accurate, at least it is here anyway, due to a phenomenon known as 'gate gays' - women who cross the gate line and are suddenly raging lesbians, but the second they get out - would kick the crap out of you for accusing them of being lesbians and would happily kick the crap out of any friend of theirs who was a lesbian.

'Real' Lesbians who go to jail hate gate gays.

I'm told the phenomenon exists in mens jail as well, but is much less prominent - in womens jails it apparently covers the vast majority of straight women in (at least Australian) jails.

Posted by: Scootah at January 24, 2008 06:18 PM

Watch any of seasons 1-3.....it started going down hill with season 4, and after the first 3 episodes of season 5, I'm glad I didn't order showtime and watched it on youtube instead...but seriously seasons 1-3 are great....and you don't have to be gay to watch the show....I'm a straight female and enjoy it.

Posted by: Jo at January 24, 2008 10:15 PM

Oh my goodness, I had never watched The L Word before, until I read this post. I'd seen it on the On Demand list & when I was flipping through the Guide, but after this...I decided I'd watch an episode while my fiance napped on Saturday. One episode turned into me watching every episode on On Demand. I have a new love.

Posted by: Mandi at January 28, 2008 12:02 PM